Unoriginal Writing

Well, it looks like I've made some effort to do both English and blogging.

Could someone please review this... extract? I don't know if I should continue it or start anew. :-|

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The rain dripped from the darkened, heavy sky in a predictable pattern, hitting the corrugated iron rooves of the cityscape with a ‘plop’ then gently flowing down the smooth surface until it fell, not onto a single rose, or even several, but onto the flawed concrete surface below. So much for the positive aspects of the city, because the rest of it is considerably less pleasant, the exaggeration of which is left to the tourism industry.

And so another typical day in the life of Marcus began a virtually invisible, insignificant human being who until recently was your everyday corporate worker. As such, he represented what the Bureau of Statistics reported as an average citizen, one who does nothing of note and merely lives without curiosity until they hit their expiry date, at which point they are sent to underfunded retirement homes. Those who go there never come out again: except for funerals.

What made him different to everyone else though, were his personal circumstances. 

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What should I replace the underlined stuff with? What could be improved, in general? Is it okay for the narrator to break the fourth wall / be sarcastic/sardonic? I'm sure I have more questions/thoughts, but I can think at midnight anymore.

Thanks for any comments you might have (if any). :O